In recent years, there has been a noticeable trend of African marriages abroad facing increasing tensions, and often leading to breakups. This phenomenon is complex, influenced by a myriad of factors ranging from cultural differences to socioeconomic pressures.
“Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a novel that follows the story of Ifemelu, a young Nigerian woman who moves to the United States for her education and experiences the complexities of life as an immigrant. The novel explores themes of love, identity, race, and belonging, offering a poignant commentary on the immigrant experience and the challenges faced by Africans living abroad.
As Ifemelu navigates her life in America, she grapples with the intricacies of her romantic relationship with Obinze, her childhood sweetheart from Nigeria. Their relationship is deeply affected by the circumstances of their lives abroad, ultimately leading to its breakdown.
Insights from literary works like Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s “Americanah” and other such novels can be helpful in understanding the reality of modern-day relationships. However, it is evident even from real-life experiences, that there are several factors contributing to the significant challenges facing African couples living abroad.
In this blog, we delve into the underlying causes of these tensions and breakups, as well as explore potential changes at both the individual and community levels to reverse this trend.
Causes of Breakups
African marriages abroad often face tensions due to cultural clashes, identity crises, economic pressures, communication breakdowns, and social isolation. Couples often face divergent cultural norms, values, and expectations, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
In ‘Americana’, Ifemelu and Obinze face cultural differences between Nigeria and the United States, causing tensions and misunderstandings in their relationship. They grapple with identity and belonging in their new environments, experiencing displacement and alienation in America and similar feelings in England. Identity crises often arise from the struggle to maintain cultural identity while adapting to a new environment which leads to internal turmoil and strain within marriages.
Financial challenges which usually take the form of finding stable employment or achieving financial stability can also contribute to tensions. Other socio-economic pressures, such as racism and discrimination in America and undocumented immigrant challenges in England further add stress to their relationship as Ifumelu discovered.
Communication breakdowns, particularly when language barriers or differing communication styles occur, can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and ultimately, the breakdown of any relationship. Communication breakdowns are accelerated due to distance, time zones, and differing life experiences, leading to misunderstandings and resentment.
Social isolation and loneliness are common issues reported by African immigrants in their new countries, further straining their marriages. Personal growth and change occur as they navigate their lives abroad, developing new perspectives, interests, and relationships that shape their identities and aspirations. These changes ultimately create distance and alter the dynamics of their relationship.
Preventing Breakups
It is crucial to be culturally sensitive in navigating intercultural or intracultural marriages, as it involves understanding and respecting each other’s cultural backgrounds and traditions.
Individuals who develop effective communication can enhance their relationships as they can better overcome language barriers and communication style differences. Identity affirmation is also important for an individual to stay grounded, and couples should integrate their cultural identities into their lives abroad.
Equally important is financial planning which is essential to mitigate economic pressures and build a stable foundation for couples. This can be done through budgeting, saving, and exploring career advancement opportunities.
Finally, individuals can combat feelings of isolation and loneliness through pursuing social integration by engaging with local communities, joining social clubs, and participating in cultural activities. These steps help create a stable basis for enduring relationships.
Community role in preventing breakups
African communities abroad can focus on building robust support systems for couples facing marriage challenges, such as counselling services, support groups, and community events.
Some groups offer cultural education programs which promote understanding and appreciation of diverse cultural backgrounds, fostering harmony within intercultural marriages.
Financial literacy workshops when available, can empower couples to manage economic pressures and make informed decisions. Activities such as cultural day shows and community outreach programs can promote social integration within African communities. These initiatives can combat social isolation and foster a sense of belonging among immigrants.
Interfaith dialogue and support should be encouraged to facilitate understanding and respect among couples from different religious backgrounds.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the breakdown of African marriages abroad is a multifaceted issue that requires a holistic approach to address effectively. By fostering cultural sensitivity, promoting effective communication, addressing economic pressures, and building strong community support systems, individuals and communities can work together to reverse this trend and cultivate thriving, resilient marriages abroad. It’s through these collective efforts that we can create environments where African couples can flourish and thrive, despite the challenges of living in a new country.